Slice of Life Tuesday

I would love to write a slice today,
but...
There are 37 students taking their first four hour unit test tomorrow. And their second the day after that. And their third the day after that.
So forgive me if my heart is a little too full of concern for these kiddos for me to concentrate on anything else.

There are 19 students in dire need of assistance they just aren't getting, and no matter how far I stretch what I can do in one classroom, I'm just not meeting their needs in the way I would like. So forgive me if my heart is a little too overwhelmed to concentrate on anything else today.

I have visions of NaNoWriMo swirling in my head. Broken bits, like splices of film flip flopping apart through my mind, pieces that want to tell a story that I just can't quite mend.

Because there are 4 students with Autism in my room working far below grade level that desperately need consistent one on one attention to be successful. If I could, I would sit all day with these guys and I know that real learning would happen. As it is, I do the best I can, but it never feels like enough.

I asked for help trying to determine how to do a better job.

I was told it was impossible.

So there it is.
Every day, I go to work to accomplish the impossible.
So forgive me if my words are scattered, my heart is broken for my students, and my mind is swirling Texas-tornado style.

There must be a better way.

Slice of Life: Stop, it's NaNoWriMo Time!

November is definitely my favorite month of the year. Why, you ask? Well...

• It begins one day after Halloween (candy and costumes, guys - c'mon.)
• It's (typically) less than 100 degrees here in sunny Texas
• NaNoWriMo mania means I get to writewritewrite my heart out!
• I get to spend every morning before school writing along side several 4th and 5th grade students -- no grades, no homework, just a bunch of writers with a shared purpose!

This year I used Animoto for the first time to make a video for all 150 students to watch. They were pretty excited!

Make your own photo slideshow at Animoto.

I'm eager to see how many show up on the 29th to learn more! This year I'm starting my club just a few days early to help students flesh out ideas and get the ball rolling. In the meantime, I thought it might be helpful to round up some handy NaNoWriMo apps and sites that will help all us wacky WriMo'ers get the job done!

• Write or Die: I'm a huge fan of both the desktop and iPad version of this writing block killah. The concept is simple: as long as you type, you're fine. Stop typing and the trouble begins! This is a great way to get out some fast writing bursts when you're lacking motivation or need some extra oomph to keep writing.
• Storyist is another great program for writers, available on iPad or Mac. Maybe it's the gadget lover in me, but I fell in love with all the options for organizing various story elements. And if you're a little on the... um, less than organized side, Storyist is a huge help!
• Okay, okay, I know. You want the free stuff. When it comes to free writing apps, there's a long list to choose from. Honestly, I like the extra bells and whistles Storyist provides me, and feel like if I just wanted to write without organization I could use my Notepad. Alternatively, I've seen people use apps like Evernote and Write 2 Lite for on-the-go writing.
• But most importantly, be sure to hang out on the NaNoWriMo forums for tons of advice, tips, and tricks! Being involved in a group of writers makes all the difference when it comes to reaching the finish line at 50,000 (or more!) words.

So what are you doing to prepare for the NaNoWriMo frenzy of writing?

Slice of Life Tuesday: A Manifesto Begins

I've learned a lot in the past six weeks, but mostly, I've (re)learned this:

I believe in a reader’s right to choose.

Strike that, I believe in a child’s right to choose.

I believe in a child’s right to be treated like a person, not a statistic. Not a test grade.

Choose how they learn best.

Choose how they represent their learning.

Choose what they want to read.

Choose how they write.

I believe in choice.

The choice to teach in a way that lines up with your beliefs and meets the needs of your students.

I believe in standing firm on your principles.

I believe in change.

I believe when we offer students the opportunity to be great, they amaze us with their excellence.

I believe teaching is about people, not numbers.

I believe we have lost our way.

I believe there is a way back. 

It is the still, quiet voice muffled beneath scores and paperwork and meetings and data.

The still, quiet voice that -- years ago -- urged you to become a teacher in the first place.

I believe that voice has a right to be heard.

And I believe we each have the strength to push that muffled voice from a whisper to a shout -- not just for ourselves; not for the weary eyes, aching feet, boggled brains and burnt out souls of all the teachers across the nation.

No, not only for them -- for me, for you.

I believe that voice has a right to be heard because our children deserve better.

They deserve rooms rich with conversation, laughter that rings through the halls, amazement in the pure joy of learning -- which, let’s be honest -- has been lost beneath the bubble sheets and reading passages and leveled books that bore would-be readers and scientists and Nobel Peace Prize winners at such extreme levels that we have shut down their minds.

I believe our children have the right to be allowed to learn.

I believe change is necessary.

And I believe change is impossible, unless we listen closely.

Listen closely to that still, quiet voice – the one that insists there is a better way.

Because there is. There is a way beyond boxed curriculum sets and test preparation. Beyond extrinsic rewards for minimal expectations. A way beyond what we have let education become.

And if you’ve forgotten your voice, if the demands placed on you have become so stringent that your passion for learning is barely a smoldering ember – put down your clipboard, leave the stacks of papers behind, push open that door and walk outside.

Seek out the playground.

Seek out the children digging in the dirt.

Seek out the boys on the basketball court and the girls doing cheers all lined up in the grassy field. (And yes, seek out the girls playing soccer and the boys reading beneath a tree.)

Seek out the Kindergarteners asking, asking, always asking for more.

Seek out the loner. The angry one. The kids poking bugs with sticks.

Seek out the wisdom in each child, the delight in their faces, the yearning for knowledge.

Fill your lungs with it. Smile, if just for a moment, remembering why you are doing this in the first place.

And let your still, quiet voice rumble and roar.

And be heard.

For you, for your students, for our nation.

Be heard.

Slice of Life

There are many things I should be doing tonight.

There are grades (they don't matter, anyway)
lesson plans (I'll change them the minute the kids walk in the door)
papers to file (just like any other day)
a 3 mile run that doesn't seem likely (there's always tomorrow?)
and a stack of books that want reading (I miss you!)

But I'm not doing the things I should be doing.

I'm researching a culture,
because of a boy
who doesn't know his last name.

Today we explored poetry and talked about identity and shared our name stories.

Only...
Only -- in this new school,
it was presumptuous to expect them to know.

So I'm researching,
and I'm learning,
and eventually,
I'll get to all the things I should be doing.

Slice of Life Tuesday: Adventuring!

On Thursday, I'll walk into the Admin office of a new school district, sign my name on (several) dotted lines, and become a 4th grade Language Arts teacher at a scary terrifying unfamiliar foreign new school. It's been one of those crazy unexpected possibilities that seem to keep popping up -- an interview in a school district I hadn't anticipated working for, a job offer at a school that I didn't mean to fall in love with, a position doing the things I love most: sharing my passion for reading and writing with children that are learning what it means for them to be independent readers and writers.

There's not much to complain about.

In fact, this all fell together so easily that the panicky parts of me are still spinning; waiting for the punchline.

But if nothing else, I know this much is true: this August, I begin a new adventure.

And I am so very ready (blessed, lucky, fortunate, unbelievably giddy) to follow this path wherever it may lead.

Doubts be damned.

“Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.”

Shakespeare -- Measure for Measure (Act 1, Scene IV)

Slice of Life Tuesday: Summer Words & Story Blurbs

Summer feels delayed this year. Maybe it's because while other teachers were tidying up their files and locking their doors for the last time of the 2011-2012 school year, I was packing my room into boxes and moving all my many teacherly items to a new room.

Or perhaps it's because my oldest son graduated from high school this year, and we spend the week following the last day of school in a whirlwind of ceremonies and celebrations, which included a triple-helping of family gatherings. 

We rock out, even when graduating.

All of these things have me tilted slightly off-balance. It's not my normal June. There was no neat and tidy exit from school, no final day dance-off in the kitchen at home with the kids, no 48-hour sleep-a-thon signaling the beginning of a cozy month (or two) to write lazily through my days.

Instead, the boys and I have slowly crept into summer. I feel as if I have my hands out before me in the dark, worried I'll slam into something that sends me hurtling back towards no-summer-land. It's weird. So hopefully you'll pardon me for being even more addle-brained than normal.

I'm ever-thankful for Kate Messner's (free!) Teachers Write! workshop, which is helping me ease into summer. Each day there is a different writing activity to explore, and there's even a FaceBook group of over 700 members sharing writing and mumble-grumbling when the writing doesn't come so easily. And did I mention it's free?

I'm still a little behind, working on an outline for my new-old work-in-progress, but I love reading the amazing words all the other teacher-librarian-writers are sharing. It takes a whole lot of courage to put your writing out there for others to see, but the growth from this scary little act is unreal. It's hard to explain, really -- but when you think that this is what we ask our students to do on a daily basis -- share! grow! learn! take risks! -- it seems only common sense that we step out of the shadows and do the same.

So, in the spirit of sharing, here's a bit of what the Teachers Write! workshop has me working on this week. I'm mostly just throwing words on paper, trying to scratch out the details of a story that has to be told. I've written and rewritten many versions of this story through the years, collecting bits and pieces and putting them together in the only way I know how. In the past two years, it became clear to me that this is THE story. The one I have to tell, because it's been trying to get out for so long.

Anyhow -- enough blabbing. Here's a rough snippet of the setting I played with last night:

Gulf Breeze Elementary was more sand than school. It seeped into our halls, permeated the carpet, and mingled with our textbooks. The playground was a white, sandy expanse of land filled with all the normal recess necessities: swing set, parallel bars, jungle gym, kickball field and a whole lot of forest lining the farthest edges of our dusty recess paradise. For a loner like me, it was easy to get lost just beyond the thick evergreen branches at the edge of our playground. It was easy to create a world that belonged only to me. A world that was safe. From my haven in the trees, I dug in red clay until my hands were stained ochre right up to my knobby little wrists. I etched out pictures and traced words in the sand with sharp, broken twigs. Games of tag danced by, just feet from my hidden sanctuary in the shade. I listened as their words giggled past me, only to be lost in the trees, “Missed me, missed me, now ya gotta kiss me!” And I watched from afar as girls with golden hair and skin hooked one leg around a high chin-up bar and sailed round and round, spinning like pinwheels, their long hair making colorful streamers in their wake.

It's difficult sometimes to remember that I'm not seeking perfection when working on a story. I'm seeking words -- feelings, glimpses of character, the story revealing itself word by word. Throw all those words out there into the open, mix them around, and let perfection come from the creative imperfection of the process.

Slice of Life: You Matter!

After taking a little no-blogging, no-tweeting break (a girl needs some time to herself after 2 months of back to back daily blogging!), I was beyond thrilled with what I found when I popped back out of my cave today.

Corey Dahl had tweeted a TED video of Angela Maiers that is absolutely inspirational. Don't believe me? Watch for yourself:



I've been following Angela since I found her "Habitudes" through the 2010 Reform Symposium (aka most amazing online professional development experience EVER). She is one of those speakers that just gives me chills because of the bold truth in her words. I hope you'll check out her site and follow her on twitter. I promise you'll be every bit as appreciative of her wisdom as I am.
You Matter.
Brilliant. And do you know even one single person that doesn't want to know that they matter? I certainly don't. In fact, I think most of us walk around wanting to matter to someone, in some way. (Wearing that sign, big or small.)
Maybe this feels especially meaningful right now because -- here we are again, the end of another school year -- stress is high, people are busy, frustration thresholds are low.
We need to know we matter. We need to know our genius is appreciated. And I am so thankful I popped back into the twitosphere today to hear Angela's words -- to remember the precious gift I can give each student, teacher, and parent I see, by simply letting them know I see them. By letting them know they matter. (And my family! They need to hear it, too. They need to know they matter.)
I find much hope in the thought of how significantly changed any workplace can be, when focused on finding the genius in one another instead of singling out the unappreciated differences and problems.
Focused on solutions, not problems.
Focused on what matters.
Focused on building each other up.
Focused on delighting in one another's genius.
It's a happy thought to finish this school year with.
So. What's your genius?

Once Upon an Outline

Maybe you recall the other day when I freaked smooth out about my latest writing struggles. In the past, this would be the time when I would close the story up, toss it in the corner, and ignore it. Honestly, people. If you only knew the stacks of would-be's lying around my house.

Don't get me wrong -- I most definitely have been writing mental death threats to my main character, and yes, I've even talked to a new character on the sly, thinking life just might be greener (and wordier!) if I left my current MC.

I know, I know. I'm an evil, heartless woman.

But don't hate me too much. It's only an affair of the heart! I've also been working through my latest plot problems. Oh. So. Slowly. The good thing is, with all work, eventually there is progress. And I am definitely seeing some progress.

Last night I listened to two podcasts over at Writing Excuses --

Wait. If you don't follow this site, you should. Go do it now. I'll be here when you get back.

All set? Good! You can thank me later.

Anyway, their latest episodes focus on the ever-elusive outline. Well, elusive to me. I'm new to this whole "making a plan" thing. I can barely follow a plan in class (shocking!) so it shouldn't be surprising that when writing I'm more of a wanderer than a GPS drone. But I really am trying to make a plan and stick with it. After all, it wasn't until I had a detailed outline in hand that I was able to finish my first novel.

These two episodes are dedicated to breaking apart an outline of one of Mary Robinette Kowal's first novels, which also happen to be middle grade. Score! She even has the outline and her first chapters available on her website. Pretty awesome, if you ask me. It's especially helpful to hear the dialogue between the authors (Did I mention Brandon Sanderson and Howard Taylor are a part of this crew?) as they dissect the different elements of plot building and characterization throughout the story. Definitely worth a listen!

At the tail end of the episode 7.15, they mention that Dora the Explorer is actually a pretty decent example to follow when outlining a "quest" style story. In fact, I think it was Dan Wells that said he and his wife had once outlined the entire Lord of the Rings plot in true Dora fashion. As a teacher, I'm excited to watch a few episodes and use this format to help my students have a better grasp on outlining their fictional stories.

As a writer, I'm going to use this tip to grab my current MC by the throat and drag him through this story, whether he likes it or not.

We can always revise it later.

Mirror Mirror

When the previews for Mirror Mirror came out, I may have bounced and giggled more than most normal, sane adults.



After all, I have always been a fairy tale girl. Some of my embarrassingly childish favorite movies include Ella Enchanted and Enchanted. No, really. 
So you can imagine my unbridled giddiness upon hearing that Snow White was getting a makeover. I'm a sucker for retold tales.
When the reviews for Mirror Mirror started showing up as less than tantalizing, I was a smidge nervous.
Phrases like "too dumb for adults" and "too twisted for kids" made me worry that Singh had missed the mark. Was it possible that this promising new fairy tale flick wouldn't be able to find a home in my list of girly movie go-to's?
I pushed aside the critics warnings and decided to check it out for myself.
And I couldn't have been more pleased.
Mirror Mirror has everything the spellbound fairy tale enthusiast hopes for: comedy, love, and a bit with a dog. (major props to you if you know which of my non-fairy tale favorites that quote comes from!) Okay, there's really not a dog. Unless you count Julia Robert's character. The Queen is undeniably doggish. But enough about that.
The costuming is outlandish, the visuals are brilliant, and the tension between the characters keeps the story moving along nicely.
Dialogue was the one place I sometimes felt the film landed a trifle on the dull side, but the story itself satisfied the fairy tale girl within.
Once again, I found myself pleased I hadn't crossed a movie off my wishlist due to bad reviews. Now, if only someone will bring Neil Gaiman's wickedly disturbing version of Snow White to life...

The School That Technology Forgot

Today I heard the news for our district's new technology plan. Hold on to your hats, friends, because this one is hard to believe:

1. All teacher laptops to be removed
2. All campuses currently using Mac computers shall have them removed, to be replaced by rented Dell desktops
3. Grades 5 and up will now be allowed to bring in their own technology into the classroom (BYOT?) -- meaning your home home laptops, iPads, whatnot, are finally going to have access to the district Internets (sorry Grade 4 and under - you're on your own!)

I can't even begin to comprehend the thoughts driving this decision or the effects it will have on the students and teachers.

I've been using Macs in the classroom for the past 5 years. The students love them, they're very user friendly, and we absolutely use the software provided on our classroom desktops.

I use my laptop at meeting, training sessions, and at home to do numerous work related tasks.

I was told today that the reason behind the laptop removal is because "teachers only use their laptops to play around on the internet, and that's not a good enough reason to keep them."

The disrespect towards myself and other professionals from this one statement is quite simply -- as Liz Lemmons would say -- a deal breaker.

How do we prepare students for the jobs of the future when we aren't even equipped to handle the technology of today?

At best, it's embarrassing. At worst, it's damaging to students and teachers alike.

And it is definitely guiding my thoughts on who I am as an educator, and where I choose to invest my time.

Musical Montage

When I was little, mom sang me to sleep.

I love my Kelly, oh this is true... I love my Kelly, oh yes I do...


I was raised on a mix of Elvis and The Eagles, with a little Joan Jett and Journey sprinkled in for good measure. These songs were the soundtrack of my life from birth to about eight. I remember singing along in the car as we listened to songs like Hound Dog or Don't Stop Believin'.

I can attach a song to nearly all my childhood memories -- music was always in the background. My dad often hummed along to many favorites, and my mom was a trained quasi-opera star in her own right, so music just didn't know how NOT to follow her around. She's sort of like Snow White, that way.

In fourth grade I remember starting to buy my own music: Michael Jackson, to be exact. And when I couldn't buy the newest tape for my boombox (oh yes, I went there!), I would simply record it off the radio. This was especially helpful when I wanted to learn the lyrics to a new song. Record, play back, stop, play, stop, play, stop, play -- until all the words were safely written in my notebook. And when I wasn't writing down lyrics from the radio, I was writing my own.

By middle school my friends and I listened to Madonna, The Beastie Boys, Tiffany, and Guns N' Roses. Music was my bipolar best friend. Where else could you find these tunes hanging out side by side? Only middle school, my friends.

I distinctly remember crying to Cruel Summer and Groovy Kind of Love when my first boyfriend moved away. No, seriously. I probably even ran into my room, flung myself onto my bed, threw one hand over my forehead, and wept bitterly. I bet Whitney Houston was singing in the background.

Soon after that deluxe moment of sitcom love gone wrong, I was banging my head to the likes of Alice Cooper, Poison, and Def Leppard (why didn't it bother me that their band name was so hideously spelled??) with one group of friends, while also kickin' back with a different group listening to LL Cool Jay, Whitney Houston, and George Michael.

No wonder I was confused.

When I was alone, I had a third set of music that begged for my attention. At night, after my friends cleared my parent-free house, my radio dial always tuned to the same thing.

Classical music.

It started innocently enough. One night, deep into a bout of insomnia, I was storming the radio stations in search for something new. Somehow I landed on one of the only classical music stations in Vegas -- nestled between dozens of rock, hip-hop, and pop stations.

And I was hooked.

What began as random background music to my insomnia became a love of Chopin, Bach, Mozart, and  Mendelssohn.

It became my must-have lullaby, the perfect serenade for late night homework sessions, and quite often -- the soundtrack to my long drives to class for the years I was determined to finish my degree, no matter what.

Even through the years in high school, bebopping around to The Cure, Johnny Gill, Billy Idol, and Sinead O'Conner -- classical was still my closeted musical BFF.

Don't you just want to slap teenage me upside the head and yell, "Yo! Find your own taste! WHO ARE YOU???"

I still rock out to live music whenever I get the chance, beam like a little kid on Christmas morning when I hear Elvis, and pull out some serious white-girl dance moves when any of those classy songs from the 80's and 90's are on.

But in a moment of high stress, when my heart is pounding and I want to just run away and pretend nothing exists? There is nothing like being surrounded by the pulse and energy of swirling emotions that speak to me through classical music.

Oh, and teenage me would be proud -- I've actually found the music that speaks to me (beyond my classical bestie), even though no one I know really cares for it. So when I'm not seeking a Zen moment in the land of harps and violins, I'm happily crooning along with singer/songwriters Joshua Radin, Ingrid Michaelson, The Weepies, Imogen Heap, Schuyler Fisk, and more.

And P!nk. Because let's face it, she's pretty badass.

Writerly Wednesday

I'm really digging these mini-writing updates. They help me be accountable and the feedback I'm getting makes me feel like maybe I'm helping some other secret #nerdywriterclub members start to come out of their shell, too. I'm not gonna lie -- that's a pretty good feeling.

First, here are some of my favorite writerly reads this week:

1. Script Frenzy: this is a no brainer. Since I'm gearing up to write my big screenplay, I'm spending mad online time browsing this site. Lots of helpful tips and forums as busy as the local sports bar on $2 wells night. (p.s. I have a plot!! I know, a lot can change for me in one day, right?) There's also a site for teachers, if you fancy running this month o' madness in your classroom (and you should).
2. Donna Newton's Blog: writer, runner, mother, storm chaser -- this chick can do it all. And when she isn't off living large, she's blogging about nifty writer stuffs, such as contests, workshops, and author interviews. Check her out!
3. Texas Sweethearts (& Scoundrels): 7 authors and illustrators from Texas that write for kids and teens. You can access all the author's websites from here, and I have a weird love of reading author blogs (is this how some people feel about reading People magazine??) so you should definitely give them a visit -- who knows, maybe you'll even find some new books to read!
4. AdvancedFictionWriting.com: Another great site filled to overflowing with tips, tricks, and helpful info. You could spend way too much time here reading about writing, and not actually writing! So I'm linking you straight to my current favorite page -- an article on the "snowflake" method of writing a novel.
5. Writing Excuses: this is a super-rockin' website with podcasts on just about every writing topic you can dream up. The line-up of talent on this blog is pretty spectacular, too. I like to listen when I'm feeling a bit deflated. I hope you'll give it a listen, too!

On my own personal writing front, I'm knee-deep in edits on my picture book. I took the best advice from the 8 critiques I've received and have been able to tighten up my sentence structure, reorder a few lagging moments, and let some unnecessary words take a hike. I'm feeling good about sending it out soon! Once the edits are done, I'm going to work on some of the other titles I have in mind for this character. I think she'd be a character many kids can relate to, and I'd like to submit the first picture book with the promise of other titles to follow. I'm not sure that will help sell the book to a publisher, but I've read it never hurts to show you have other stuff lined up. I'll let you know how it works out -- by next week, I should be working on this stage. Exciting stuff, guys!

And as a little edit to yesterday's floundering post-of-much-whining, I'm pleased to say I've come up with my screenplay idea. It's an idea that I actually had about 5 years ago. I wrote this tiny snippet down and never went back to it, but the main character keeps kicking around in my head lately, so I decided I may as well give him some time in the spotlight. I'll spend the rest of this week fleshing out his character and rubbing the rust off the story details. I'm pretty hyped to share my story with my class, and can't wait to see what they want to work on. I have a feeling April will be a very good month!

So guys -- what about you? What have you been writing this week?

Got Inspiration?

In five days, Script Frenzy is upon us. In class, this means one full month of brainstorming and writing side by side -- no test worries, no crazy high-stakes pressure -- just four weeks of writing bliss!

I'm stoked.

The kids are stoked.

(Just one more state writing test to get through first.)

At home, this means something completely different. Currently, it means I am freaking out because I still have no idea what I want to write!

I'd love to play with another graphic novel, but the format takes more time than I have to give right now. So -- no graphic novel!

Stage plays feel too limited. No go, there.

TV Scripts?  While tempting, I'm just not feeling it. Meh.

That pretty much leaves me at screenplay. I'm familiar with it, there's plenty of room for tomfoolery, and I have a strange obsession with movies anyway, so it's probably best anyway.

The problem still remains -- what screenplay shall I write? I believe the dread STAAR test has sucked all my inspiration away.

Fantasy?
Horror?
Chick flick?

Nothing feels right yet -- let's just hope inspiration strikes in the next four days...

there's writing to be done!

It's Monday! What Are You Reading?

It's Monday, so I'm popping in on Teach Mentor Text's meme. Click the graphic above to join the fun!

Last week I really struggled to get any new books read -- something about finishing 21 narrative report cards, getting ready for this week's STAAR writing test, among other things.

Over the weekend, I started reading The Sister's Grimm: The Fairy Tale Detectives by Michael Buckley.

One of my student's had recommended it, and I can never turn them down! I'm currently on page 153 -- so about halfway done. It's a fast paced read and I can see why my students enjoy it so much. More on that when I finish. My reading goal this week is to finish it by Friday.

I'm also reading Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life by Amy Krouse Rosenthal.

Since I'm participating in the A to Z Blogging Challenge in April, I'm finding this book to be a huge help! I've been cataloging my own list of possible encyclopedia entries about my life, and plan to use my list to keep me writing throughout April. Regardless of whether or not you're in need of inspiration for a month of alphabetized writing, I highly recommend Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life.

Since my goal is to finish both these weeks by Friday, I'm already browsing my to-read list for my next great read. I've had my eye on The One and Only Ivan by Katherine Applegate.

I fell instantly in love with Home of the Brave, and I'm fiercely devoted to an author once I'm hooked, so this book could be about nearly anything and I'd read it -- but I'm delighted to see that it's something I'm actually happy to read. Now, to get my hands on a copy!

I'm also pining for a good YA book, but nothing sounds quite right just now. I've read a lot of dystopian fiction lately (it's been a favorite genre since I actually WAS a young adult), and I'm feeling a little tired of the same old story lines. It doesn't help that I'm elbow deep in my own dystopian YA novel edits. So maybe something else? Fantasy perhaps? A good mystery?

I'm just not sure -- what do you recommend?

Words That Must Not Be Named (WTMNBN): Part 2

It took me exactly two days to move out after graduating from high school. I was 17 years old. There's a lot of backstory leading to that decision, but that's another story.

Lately, when I look at my own 18-year-old son, I find myself thinking about the day my parents dropped me off at the International Airport in Amsterdam, Holland and waved goodbye as I strolled to my plane. I was moving to Florida where my 24-year-old boyfriend lived. If my kids tried this, I'm pretty sure I'd lock them up and throw away the key -- 100% remorse free. But honestly, that is also another story.

This story isn't about my kids, my parents, or even my decision to move to another continent and live with a man I barely knew.

This story is about the strange journey I've been on with my body in the past 20 years. Twenty. Years. How is that even possible?

Anyway, back to the story.

I was still sporting my fabulous new 130 pound body when I arrived at the tiny airport in Pensacola, Florida.

That summer was amazing and horrible and eye-opening.

It only took a few months for me to realize that my dad could no longer limit the foods I ate.

So I ate.
And ate.
And ate some more.

I actually remember being elated at the freedom I had found -- I could leave the lights on through the whole house, waste as many paper towels as I wanted when cleaning up a spill, and eat macaroni and cheese by the box-full.

I think my choices really proved how totally mature I was, and definitely ready to be in a serious adult relationship.

By the following February -- just eight months later -- I weighed 184 pounds. This number is forever burned in my brain. It's the number I saw when I stepped on the scale to check my weight on the morning of my roadside chapel wedding.

I'm not really sure how it's physically possible to pile on 50 pounds in eight months -- but I do know it involves things like steak lunches, tons of chocolate pie, and a lot of Taco Bell. Oh, and several years of self-loathing mindspeak rattling around in the brain. That'll do it, too.

A month after the wedding, I found out I was pregnant. I was elated.

Nine months and another 50 pounds later, my first son was born. He was perfect and beautiful. (He still is, but he'll roll his eyes now if I tell him that.)

I'd love to tell you I spent my first pregnancy bathing in a pool of health and wellness.

But that would be a lie.

I was 19 and had a mean addiction to cupcakes and Coca-Cola.

After Uno was born, I attacked my weight like any normal weight-challenged teenager with a baby.

And so began the ever-fluctuating merry-go-round of gaining, losing, and regaining the same 30 pounds once or twice a year.

When the final seams of my first marriage were finally unraveling, I weighed right around 250 pounds. One of my close friends jokes about this time as my "closet days," saying she never wanted to see "Kelly hiding in the closet" again.

There were many reasons I was hiding. 10 years of living with an emotionally abusive, controlling husband had turned my mind into swiss cheese. And let's be honest -- my self esteem was a joke before I met him; so even mild deterioration was apt to cause some big issues.

When I looked in the mirror, I certainly didn't see anything worth appreciating. I didn't see a human being. I saw a bunch of words meant to keep me down. I've always been a collector of words, but in this case, I'd picked up several that needed to be discarded.

Scarred.
Fat.
Irresponsible.
Useless.
Stupid.
Ugly.

I left my first husband in 2002. Not the words, though. They hung out much longer.

But that's another story.

Short Slice

This post is a part of the March Slice of Life Writing Challenge 2012 over at Two Writing Teachers.

Today has been go-go-go and move-move-move.
Tonight is more of the same.

Here's a slice of my day: 

Sale! New shirt, eight bucks.
Sixty dollar strapless bra?
So much for saving.

In Which I'm Proven Wrong, Yet Again

Remember how I promised my kids I would actively seek out publication for some of my writing? (And then threw a big hissy fit, positive it was going to kill me?)

And then got this crazy idea to write a completely new picture book manuscript, and take it through all the steps that lead to having an actual-factual book sitting in the stores? (Also: resulting in hissy fit.)

Yeah. I'm still pondering what on earth I was thinking, but it appears -- and I know this will shock you -- it's not quite as bad as I had imagined it to be...

I've followed the Face Book group Writers Support 4U! for a while now. Mostly I just lurk the posts, feeling sorry for myself -- look at all these writers writing! look at all these writers publishing their work! look at all these writers interacting!


Seriously, yo. I'm not really sure why I even joined if I just wanted to creep up on them Peeping Tom style, and not actually participate.

But last week I finally did more than hit the "like" button on a random post.

I asked about critique groups.

The response was quick and painless, and as a result I'm the newest member of a weekly Skyping writer's group and an online critique site.

The picture book has been critiqued twice on the site so far, with some really great feedback! I've got some ideas on a few changes to perk it up a bit, and both critics left me feeling hopeful about sending it out to publishers.

I also read the manuscript to my class, proving to them that I am, indeed, sticking to my word -- they had the same reaction as my own Littles, which was another plus. Laughed in all the right places, and because we so often critique each other's work, they also let me know what was strong and what needed help! What amazing little writers they are becoming!

This weekend I'll participate in my very first Skype critique group. I expect w(h)ine to be involved. (You didn't think I would give up complaining that easily, did you?)

It's good to be moving forward. New possibilities keep springing to mind. And I'm sort of falling in love with that.

What's Possible in Possibility?

Possibility. That's my one little word for 2012.

It's interesting to me how one word can wrap itself around you and take on a life of its own.

Impossible spells "I'm possible." (We love you, Audrey.)

Dwell in possibility.  (Thank you, Emily.)

LIVE with possibility.

One month ago I felt overwhelmed -- eaten up by -- possibility. The choices and chances in the coming months swirled around me, leaving me feeling lost in the fog -- of possibility.

Now I see it differently. I see the bliss and the blessing in all this possibility. I see adventure and opportunity. I see a life lived out loud. A life worth living.

I decided I needed to track down the root of this word that has become the framework of my year.

Possibility led me to possible, which led me further down the path to the Latin word posse, which means "be able." Following this still further I found that posse and potent both mean "power."

There is also the Latin verb possum (no, not opossum!), meaning "I am able," or "I can."

Follow the etymology around long enough and you'll find your way through the Latin potis (which leads to pote, meaning vessel -- how beautiful is that?) to the Sanskrit word  पति, or páti, which means "lord, master, rule, sovereign."

And what more is possibility, than to dwell in the brilliant truth that each day I get to choose what path to take. To dwell in "I can." To toss out the lists and the schedules and the must-have's and never-do's, and just get on with the business of living.

The words found in possibility are beautifully empowering. I found myself thinking of the words from Invictus by William Ernest Henley; the last stanza in particular:

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll.

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul. 

With all these delicious words wandering through my mind, I was reminded of Bob Raczka'a book Lemonade and Other Poems Squeezed From a Single Word. I looked up Andrew Russ, whose work Raczka was inspired by, and found even more words to ponder.

So I decided to give it a try with possibility. After much shifting around of letters and words, I realized it's much more difficult than I thought! But here it is, and here I am, dwelling in possibility:

It's Test-Taking Day!

Each year, same thing: a special meeting to train us to have the wherewithal to undergo the precise measures that must be taken on this very special test-taking day.

Each year, same thing: I wonder what dolt has actually done the things we're being told specifically not to do, unless we'd like to find work in another career path once next school year rolls around. I mean, they wouldn't tell us not to do it unless this had actually happened before, right?

So today, without further delay, I give you a day in the test administering life of my imagined version of the teacher that caused all this ruckus in the first place:

I wake up, squinting against the light coming in through the window.  Light? It mustn't be. The clock registers the amusing truth: it's late. Much later than it should be. I guess I had one too many drinks at Al's Drink Emporium last night. Shrugging, I amble through my morning. Let 'em wait, I always say!


When I reach the school, the halls are buzzing with activity. Kids scrambling to class, teachers milling in the hallways drinking coffee and chatting happily about the big day.


Oh that's right, I think to myself. It's test-taking day! I chuckle to myself at having forgotten this important day, and head to class to make sure my little sweethearts have arrived safely. After tossing a few orders out, I head to the office. Time to pick up our tests!


The halls are quiet now, so I slip into the teacher's lounge and rummage around for the coffee. It seems nobody had time to put on a fresh pot this morning, so I figure it's the least I can do to get one started. Once I have a nice steaming cuppa Joe, I check my mailbox. Empty. I head off to grab those tests.


My assistant principal is waiting for me, test packet in hand, toe tapping. He looks like he barely slept at all last night. 


"You were supposed to pick these up thirty minutes ago!" he glowers, "Hurry back to class! It's test-taking day!"


With a smile and a nod, I grab the tests and am on my way.  Eesh, I think, he sure is testy today. I can't help but chuckle at my little joke. I am so witty!


Back in class, I mumble good morning to the kids and start passing out tests. The sooner we start, the sooner it's over. May as well get going.  I have a list of kids that are supposed to have special accommodations, but I forgot to get the right materials, so I say a little prayer that they'll be okay without them. There's also a huge list of instructions I'm supposed to read, but what the heck -- they've seen this stuff before.


"Let's get this show on the road!" 


Pencils go up, booklets open. Heads snap down and begin reading through endless passages meant to measure their knowledge.


I love test-taking day. A nice full day of peace and quiet! I snap open my phone and check my Face Book page. There's a new comment thread on the latest movie, so I send my thoughts. I glance at the clock. Only two minutes have passed. This is going to be a long day. Good thing I brought along a nice, long book. Taking those few extra minutes to myself this morning is definitely going to pay off.


We're supposed to stand and roam the classroom, monitoring student progress. What a bore! I have a seat behind my desk and flip my laptop open. There's a great shoe sale on Target and I really need to update my Pinterest boards. Surely that will kill some time.


A hand pops up in the air. It's little Suzy.


"What is it?" I ask.


She motions for me to come over.


Great. These kids are always interrupting me! With a long sigh, I walk over to her desk.


"What's the problem?"


She tells me she doesn't understand a word in the passage she's reading. I explain what it means, pat her on the head and walk back to my desk. My good deed for the day. Besides, I feel a little bad that I didn't give her the reading overlay she's supposed to have. Oh well, lesson learned!


The rest of the morning passes fairly quickly. My phone rings a few times, but I silence it each time -- I certainly won't take any phone calls during a test! I have snacks and bottles of water set up in the back of the room, so the kids can get up and serve themselves when they need something. Sometimes they stop and chat a bit, which is a nice break for them, I think.


Just before lunch, I decide to order myself a pizza. All this test-taking business has really made me work up an appetite! When the pizza guy arrives, I tell the kids to leave their tests at their tables and grab their lunches. We sit around the room eating our food. On test-taking day, nobody eats in the lunchroom. Too loud. So we chat quietly, discussing the test and offering advice to each other. It's a real brainstorming session! By the time the kids get back to work, I think they feel pretty excited to finish the test.


It feels too quiet now, so I turn on the radio. Nothing like a little heavy metal to really get those brain juices flowing! A few kids look up in alarm, but once they realize it's just some good old fashioned rock and roll, they quickly get back to work.


I open my purse and grab a bottle of bubblegum pink nail polish. May as well use this time wisely! My nails could really use a new coat of color. I set to work applying the polish to my nails, determined not to notice the two kids in the corner whispering to each other.


Another hour passes and I realize I really need a bathroom break. I don't want to stop the kids in the middle of all their hard work, so I slip quietly out the door and head for the bathroom. I don't really like using the bathroom nearest my room -- the light flickers like I'm in a bad horror film -- so I go down to the next hall. I'll only be gone a minute, so I'm sure the kids will be fine.


By the time I get back to class, a few of the kids are all grouped together looking at each other's tests.


"Whoa, guys! What's going on in here?" I ask, surprised that they aren't still working.


They scramble back to their seats without another word.


Bobby, my very brightest student, informs me that he has finished his test. I grab it up and head back to my desk. He starts drawing pictures to pass the time. I glance over his work and see that although he circled all the answers in his test booklet, he hasn't bubbled in all the answers on his answer document. He's had such a long day of testing, I hate to bother him again. I grab a pencil and fill in the rest of the answers for him. Problem solved!


I realize I can use Bobby to help me out. I call him over and tell him that he's earned the special privilege of Official Test Monitor. I even give him a little badge to wear, made out of construction paper. I am really outdoing myself today!  Bobby spends the rest of the afternoon wandering through the class, keeping everybody in line. I think he really enjoys his new responsibility.


Slowly, all the kids turn in their tests. We're done! I congratulate the kids on their hard work and tell them they can have free time for the rest of the day. Cheers and hoots of celebration ring through the room. I mentally pat myself on the back for being so awesome. And while they're playing, I can give myself that pedicure I've desperately been needing. This is turning out to be one of the best test taking days of all time!


After looking through their work and grading all the tests myself, I hand all the huge bundle of tests and answer sheets to one of my most trustworthy students and ask him to run it down to the office.


Another test taking day successfully completed!

It's Monday! What are you reading?

After reading Laura's post over at Camp Read-a-Lot, I decided to postpone my planned post on possibility (whew, say THAT 3 times fast!) and join the fun over at Teach Mentor Texts for their weekly "It's Monday! What are you reading?" meme.

As I've done since reading Donalyn Miller's The Book Whisperer a couple of years ago, I challenged my kids to join me for a #bookaday goal over Spring Break. Some jumped at the chance, while others set a somewhat smaller goal. Today we checked in, and I was super excited to find that most of my kiddos met or exceeded their goals!

Here's what I read:

1. Lemonade by Bob Raczka
2. Wonderstruck by Brian Selznick
3. Ladybug Girl by David Soman
4. Goodnight World by Willa Perlman
5. Stars by Mary Lyn Ray
6. Ruth and the Green Book by Calvin Alexander Ramsey
7. I Can Hear the Sun by Patricia Polacco
8. When I Was Young and in the Mountains by Cynthia Rylant
9. Tulip Sees America by Cynthia Rylant
10. Write Like This by Kelly Gallagher (started, not finished)
11. Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life (started, not finished)

Several of my books were narrative style picture books, since I was amping up to share some great mentor texts with my kids this week. We'll be taking our STAAR writing test next week, so it feels like a good time to munch on some scrumptious words. And I'm just loving Gallagher's Write Like This. His thoughts match my own feelings on what writing should look like in the classroom, and as I was already planning to spend the week revisiting how narrative and expository writing can be written about the same topic but in different ways, much of what I read in his book helped me decide on a new way of presenting the information. Win!

Today I shared Ruth and the Green Book with my students. Before I read the book, we made a list of our purposes for writing, using Gallagher's model. After they had a list of styles such as expressing and reflecting, informing and explaining, and taking a stand and proposing a solution, I passed out sticky notes and asked them to write words and phrases in the story that helped them to determine the author's purpose for writing.

Ruth and the Green Book is an excellent resource as a mentor text! Although the style is narrative, all the students noticed that Ramsey also informs and explains, as we learned many facts about life as an African American in the 1950's and how the Green Book came into existence. Some of my students also felt that the story had elements of the take a stand model as well, since Ruth definitely takes a stand of her own in the story. Wonderful mentor text, and a Bluebonnet choice for 2012-2013, as well! Double win!

After we read, I asked my students to come up with possible prompts for writing that would result in a story like Ruth and the Green Book. They came up with several prompt ideas, including:

• Write about a time you were left out
• A time you felt afraid
• A time someone was mean to you

And more! We made a list and they each chose the one that spoke to them and began writing their own narrative that matched their chosen prompt. An excellent writing day, to say the least.

I'm eager to continue reading Write Like This and start working on my writing plan for next year! It never ceases to amaze me how much a good book can change a life, a day, or even a moment in one person's life.