I would love to write a slice today,
but...
There are 37 students taking their first four hour unit test tomorrow. And their second the day after that. And their third the day after that.
So forgive me if my heart is a little too full of concern for these kiddos for me to concentrate on anything else.
There are 19 students in dire need of assistance they just aren't getting, and no matter how far I stretch what I can do in one classroom, I'm just not meeting their needs in the way I would like. So forgive me if my heart is a little too overwhelmed to concentrate on anything else today.
I have visions of NaNoWriMo swirling in my head. Broken bits, like splices of film flip flopping apart through my mind, pieces that want to tell a story that I just can't quite mend.
Because there are 4 students with Autism in my room working far below grade level that desperately need consistent one on one attention to be successful. If I could, I would sit all day with these guys and I know that real learning would happen. As it is, I do the best I can, but it never feels like enough.
I asked for help trying to determine how to do a better job.
I was told it was impossible.
So there it is.
Every day, I go to work to accomplish the impossible.
So forgive me if my words are scattered, my heart is broken for my students, and my mind is swirling Texas-tornado style.
There must be a better way.
I wish I could help you think of ways to do the impossible. How discouraging to be told this is the best, the all, the way it will be! How many volunteers can you fit in your room. It isn't the best, by any means, but maybe someone to watch over some while others get a bit of attention. Maybe partnering with an upper grade? Even peer buddies helps a lot.
ReplyDeleteMy heart bleeds for your kids...and you. People don't know how much we care, how much we want to do our best, and how much we can't just "turn it off" when we get home.
Scattered thoughts and tornado-tossed words have at least landed in Oz. I think it's important that we share these frustrations - even if there is no good advice we can offer to make things better. Knowing that there are understanding souls out there who can listen means so much. We are not alone.
ReplyDeleteBe strong. (and take long walks).
Your Texas tornado swirling mind is a little bit like mine. It's so hard to do everything we want for our students. It's hard to explain to others that these budget cuts really are damaging. That Mr. Romney and his "it's all because of the teacher unions--they don't really need smaller class sizes" and the "must be nice to have the summer off" people really don't have a clue what it is we do. Know that there are others out there like you. People who get it. People who would help you if they could.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the support, guys! It means so much to see and feel the difference that happens when like-minded educators root for each other. :)
ReplyDelete