At some point in life I think it's going to have to become necessary for me to stop being so angry all the time.

Whether this means I need to live in solitude forever or begin some sort of rigid therapy sessions, I do not know.

But people really irritate me. If you say you're going to do something, for the love of Pete and all that is good in the world, please do it. Please. I ask this as a broken women, ready and willing to throw things.

Oh yes, I'm a thrower. Throwing and dropping random items is ever so much more effective than killing people or screaming until you are hoarse, I think. First of all, when you kill people, bad things happen. Also, I believe there is a commandment about that. So killing, quite obviously, is out. Secondly, screaming does nothing but hurt yourself, as you are apt to end up with a headache or sore throat, or horrors, both.

That's why throwing is so much better. With a well aimed lob, you can scare the bejeezus out of just about anyone. Wish you didn't have to display that cheap vase dear old mom bought you last year? Trust me, it'll look smashing as a modern mosaic around your boyfriends feet. Trying to perfect your frisbee golf technique? Try a little dinnerware, you'll thank yourself later.

Dropping things is a little more sneaky, and due to this, all the more fun. I wouldn't attempt the sneaky drop all too often, however, as it can lose effect. But next time you come home and nothing is going your way, and no one will listen, and the tv is blaring and the kids are screaming and your no-good-dirty-rotten-never-freaking-takes-the-garbage-out husband doesn't even notice your $150 new hairdo? Drop a glass. Hell, drop two. Drop a whole freaking sinkfull of dishware. You needed new Corningware, anyway.

Or maybe wait, since you just blew $150 on a hairdo that looks just like your old one.

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