2 days, 0 cigarettes. I guess that's good. It's funny what one struggles to gain control over when one feels so out of control. But in this case its healthy, so I shouldn't complain. And I won't, much. Or any more than I normally do.
Today I was told by one of the parents of my after school kids that she read in the newsletter that I'm going to school. She asked if I was planning to get a degree in teaching, because she thought I would make a wonderful teacher. That felt nice. She's spent some time in my class and sometimes a little validation, especially when my kids are running around acting like martians have taken control of their brains, is helpful.
It seems that daily my eyes are opening to new possibilities. They aren't always good, but they are nearly always factual, and that is better than living with false hope, I think. Reality may not be much fun, but you can count on it's consistancy.