Which Member of the Endless Are You?
If you've ever seen a crumpled up ball of tin foil, then you know what I feel like. Hoping I will have time to use that gift certificate to the day spa soon.
It's curious how empty I can feel when my life is so full. Doesn't that sound terribly melodramatic?
I have a new anger with time. It keeps slipping by and I don't seem to be getting much accomplished. Well you know, besides closing in on the end of FFX. It made me cry today. A game made me cry. OF course, I walked in on the last half of Deep Impact, which I have seen before, and it made me cry also. K-PAX almost made me cry, and Blue Crush made me so angry I almost walked out of the theatre.
So, here lies the answer to why I'm not getting anything done -- I played FFX and watched movies all day. Hmm. But it is Saturday. And tomorrow I can call the gym (why oh why does it have to be closed on Saturdays?) and get started with that whole thing. I think swimming before work each day will be nice. I hope. Either that, or I'll feel more tired than I already do. I'm going to hope it helps though.
Tonight, driving home from the birthday party that turned into a movie theatre event, I was listening to the radio and as usual the songs led to thinking and the thinking led to memories and the sentence, "Are you eating that hamburger or is it eating you?" popped into my head, and a smile and a look, and a warm chest and soft sound of a heartbeat... and I smiled, genuinely, for the first time in a long while. And I remembered the pictures that were taken on September 9th of last year, me with my sister and Bill and my kids and my mom... and the giant sized genuine smile that made my eyes crinkle and somehow made me look about 10 years younger and feel so alive... and I'm still smiling from that memory, wondering where those photos are, and hoping a person can live on memories for a long time.
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