1.23.2001

Occasionally, I watch Oprah. This is rare, since it is rare I ever watch any television. I don't know why, really -- and one friend has even told me that I think I am above people that DO watch television. Well, I can't see that, as I don't care who watches television and who doesn't. I just never remember to turn it on. But occasionally, it's on, and I watch it. The other week or so, I watched Oprah. It was about finding your 'shadow self'. Ever on the path to enlightenment, I ate up every word they said. Then they offered a book title.

The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, by Debbie Ford.

Yep, I went out and bought it.

Feeling a little foolish at the Oprah rack in the bookstore, I got my book and happily took it home, certain that I was on my way to self-enlightenment. Soon I would know all the answers, soon I would be happier, soon I would be able to leave all this mental luggage behind me.

Well, whatever. This is a good book, it has nifty exercises to do at the end of each chapter (my personal favorite was a visualization exercise where I got to picture myself at my worst, and then also at my best, and introduce those two people in hopes that the worst of me would be embraced by the best of me -- well, good luck to that, but it was a pretty interesting experience). Hm, talk about a lightbulb moment. That visualization was a lot like the dream I had ... and I THINK the dream I had was after the visualization. Hm hm hm. Gee, I'm just very deep today aren't I?

Anyway! This book has some wonderful advice on how to embrace those things which you hate most about yourself, or at the very least, the things which you say are not you, that are. And although I'm not feeling like the most healed and prosperous woman on the planet today, I am beginning (between this book and the many things I have been doing to move myself forward) to feel like a worthy person.

Well, golly gee -- is that possible?

Looks like it just might be! Power to the people, or something.

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