project.chameleon

Friend number 1 does NOT have cancer.

Friend number 2 does NOT have cancer!

Still waiting to hear more about friends 3, 4, and 5, though.

I sure wish my doctor would call me with the results of my lab, and the date for my new sonogram. Oh well. I am sure I will find out soon enough. I am just SO impatient. It is really great to know that my friends situations turned out better than first anticipated. And my doc has never even mentioned cancer with me, so I'm not concerned about that as much as I am just looking forward to putting this all behind me.

Have you ever felt the shift in possible futures of your life? This may sound completely ridiculous, but hear me out. One day, you might be moving along, future firmly in hand -- everything normal and steady ... and then you make some life altering decisions, and start to put these new plans into action ... and at some point, you can actually feel this new plan take hold ... you can feel it take its first breath and come to life. One future dies, the other slowly becomes an entity of its own. And you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you had better have been certain that this was what you wanted, because there is no turning back now.

That's how I feel right now. And for the first time in a long time, I feel good about a decision I made on my own. I'm not sure I would be this conscious of these things if it weren't for a dream I had. Yep, you get to hear the whole thing. Well, it's either that or stop reading.

Let me preface this by saying this dream was entirely in third person and had a narrator. It was very much like watching a movie. I didn't appear to be in the dream at all, which is odd for me. Normally I am in all my dreams, even if I am not in a familiar form. So, anyways...

There were two women living in the same area, except really, they were two different versions of the same woman. One woman was meant to make it to the future, the other was not. And each version (from here on out called V1 and V2) had a belief on whether or not they were to be the one moving on. The women looked very much alike, but there was something inherently different about each of them.

V1 spent the early part of the day playing at a water park with two young boys, climbing through a tunnel that lead up in a spiraling manner. Before long the tunnel opened up on the sides, and V1 was told that she had to make it to the other side or she might fall off. And falling meant death.

V1 finally made it to the other side, where she was greeted by two women. One was quite elderly, though she reserved a certain grace and she was tall and elegant. Her hair was silver and her eyes were shockingly blue. The detail of the elderly woman was remarkable. The other woman was middle aged, with brown hair. She was aristocratic and seemed uninterested in most everything that was going on. They were walking down the streets of some metropolitan city -- cars zooming by them on the sidewalks and towering buildings rising above them. Everything was tinged with brown, and for whatever reason gave the impression of the 1920s, except for the vehicles which seemed modern. As the three women walked to some undisclosed location, a voice was heard, saying, "At least she had been given the gift of seeing these automobiles before -- and for this, she was not so surprised."

And truly, V1 DID seem to be in a bit of shock as she took in the city around her.

During their walk and throughout the remainder of the dream, flashes of a black Rolls Royce with important men in it were seen, on their way to find both versions of the women. The men in the car were never shown, however it was obvious that their presence was important.

Finally the three women made it to a small diner. They ordered tea or coffee and sat at a little round table. V1 offered the elderly woman a pair of ballet leggings. They were pink, fuzzy from to many washings, and torn in various places. They were also stained brown in spots. All in all, these leggings should have been thrown in the trash many years ago. But the elderly woman accepted them with a giant smile and proceeded to put them on. They sagged in all the wrong places, but the elderly woman (who, by the way, never sat at the table but stood in front of a window admiring her new leggings). The sun shone through the window, framing her body in a radiant glow, and this elderly woman seemed happy, although somewhat oblivious to what was going on around her.

V2 walked in, then. She looked like V1, except harsher. V2 wore black and red, and her hair and make-up seemed a little more stern than V1's appearance. V2 ordered some food (which she received as half a sandwich wrapped in wax paper and a glass of something) and sat down at the table with the other three. The elderly woman ignored her arrival, the aristocratic woman smiled smugly at her, and V1 seemed a little sad at her arrival, though she acted like everything was fine. V1 had been sad all along, though ... knowing that eventually V2 would show up and spoil all her fun.

V2 became very aware that no one seemed pleased to see her. She noted the elderly woman's ballet leggings and said to V1, "You never told me she was a dancer." She sounded sad as she said this. V1 simply turned to V2 and smiled, nodding. Suddenly V2 felt very sick. She knew she was not going to be the woman to make it to the future, even though she thought all along it would be her. Making excuses, she said she had to finish her food "in her room", and she stood to leave.

The elderly woman still ignored her (though to be honest, she didn't pay anything any attention at all), the aristocratic woman looked extraordinarily pleased, and smiled at V2 in a knowing way. V1 simply looked at her, with growing awareness that SHE would be the one to make it. V2 felt incredibly ill now, and moved to the door, acutely aware of the fact that no one even noticed her as she was leaving.

As she opened the door to exit the diner, there was another flash of the black Rolls Royce, and a voice that said, "And as she left the diner, no one tried to stop her nor made any effort to speak to her, except the tabloid, and then it was too late."

And it showed her walking down a littered circa 1920s street, in her black and red suitdress, alone except for the trash and the vagrants lining the street.

And then I woke up. Fun stuff, hm? So anyway -- at the time I had the dream, it didn't seem that these versions of the same woman were me, but now I have a few takes on the dream. Have your own? Think I'm insane? Let me know.

Ta ta for now, lovely people.