9.06.2000

Welcome to the special birthday edition of my ramblings. I thought I might have something inspirational to say today, but I don't. So instead of being intellectual, I decided to be vain. This is me. I'm 26 years old today.

That sounds incredibly old to me. Of course, I know that it isn't, when compared to my mom or my grandparents, or uhm... dinosaurs. 26 years isn't much. But for me, it seems like it is. We don't have a lot of time here. I'm rapidly approaching middle age. WOW. And I'm not even through college. I suppose that I should be optimistic and think about how some people never go to college, or never even have the desire to, and feel like I am ahead of the game somehow.

Instead, I feel like I am woefully behind. And I'm not sure that I'll ever catch up. Again though, I teeter on the edge of feeling like perhaps, it doesn't matter where anyone else is. I shouldn't care that many people are through college and gainfully employed by now. That is other people. This is me. So I have been taking stock of my life, and I don't feel like I've done too bad.

I mean, I'm alive. I have two beautiful children that I love more than anything on earth. I have finally (and trust me, this was a major deal for me) figured out what I want, and I am daily struggling towards my goals. I'm not addicted to anything (except the Internet, but until there are support groups, that doesn't count. Besides, there's no surgeon general's warning, right?), and I have a pretty decent life. A little stressful at times, but I'm working on that, too.

So all in all, things are good. And as far as I can tell, they are only going to get better. Saying that I am 26 out loud still makes me cringe. But I can't turn back time. And I'll never be able to erase certain mistakes in my life ... so why regret?

Here's to me, and whatever the future holds.

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