project.chameleon

Dear Person That Constantly Screws With My Mind,

Well, this is it, I suppose. I've finally had enough. There was a time when I believed that I could do this forever -- that I cared for you so much, that nothing could ever serve as the knife that ripped us apart.

But I see now that I was horribly mistaken. And it's not that I have stopped caring for you -- no, I know now that will truly never happen. I am not the type of person that changes emotions so quickly. When I love someone, I love them for life. Just as I have loved you, and always will. As I love all my friends, each person that I open my heart up to. Each and every one, including you ... once I give my heart away, I never take it back.

But you -- heh. What a completely different story. You care more about yourself than you will ever care about another human being. You are so concerned with your own ego that you will never be able to have a true relationship -- of any kind -- with anyone. And it hurts me to think these things, but it is only recently that I am able to see the truth. And I cannot hide from this truth anymore than I can stop breathing. It looms in front of me, mocking me, almost always.

And it is for this reason, among many others, that I have to end our friendship. And to be honest, I am not sure that you will ever notice. You are so wrapped up in your own life, your own comings and goings, that it is rare that you stop to think about me, isn't it? I, on the other hand, am a little too obsessive to deal with you. I care too much, want too much, feel TOO much. So it is my weakness that tears us apart -- or, tears me from you. You've already left, I think.

So I am going. And I hope that you will always be happy, dear. I pray that there is never anything in your life that you want, and can't have. When I think of you, I always have a smile on my face -- for you are someone I will always treasure, deep in my heart. I will never forget you, and your memories are sure not to fade quickly. Though I think, with much sadness, that I am already beginning to fade from yours ...

I can't quite decide if I am more upset because I have finally realized that I always considered you more important in my life, than you considered me in yours -- or if I am merely pining away for a friendship that is dying before its time.

So goodbye, love. I'd like to leave you with a song from someone that understands the importance of friends ...

It's called "Here's To You", by Tiffany Shea.

I walked into the dim lit room
and I saw that table for two
I went and sat at the corner stool
and I felt like such a fool
'cause I sat and stared
and reminisced
about the way we used to be
and I wondered if you ever think
the same things about me...

here's to you
my love, my friend
a toast to passion
that wasn't s'posed to end
a tip of a hat
and a raise of a glass
a blink of an eye
and a memory of the past
so what's to do
my love's ever true
here's to you

every now and then I think
that it just wasn't meant to be
and then I think of how it felt
while you were holding me
and I wonder what you're doing now
and I like to think that I'd know how
to make your life just a little better
by being by your side

So I guess we should just keep moving on
without ever looking behind
cause I'm gonna be falling in love again
if I don't get you off my mind.

Here's to you.