Reading Bird by Cystal Chan. With an opening that begins with, "Grandpa stopped speaking the day he killed my brother, John," I knew I would quickly fall in love with this little book. And I have. Chan's writing is filled with the type of sentences I wish I had written myself.
Writing Now that our round of #EveryDayinMay blogging is over, I'm busy pondering what June will look like. While I'm not sure this busy month will leave me time for daily blogging, I do want to remain somewhat consistent. I'm also taking a class in crafting the short story, so no matter where my writing happens, I know it will be happening and that makes for a very happy Kelly.
Listening This is a leaf-turning, path-choosing, decision-making time, and I'm doing my best to listen to that inner voice that whispers me forward in the right direction.
Thinking The dread fibromyalgia has really been taking its toll lately. I know I haven't been eating as well as I should. It'd be nice if all the research I've done was as effective in combatting the aches and pains as actual action is! So I'm thinking it's time for a total nutritional overhaul - an experiment in food, to see what differences seem to make the biggest difference. This month I'm going raw, people. I've been sliding toward this trend anyway, having quietly stopped eating meat about a month ago (yay, closet vegetarianism!). I'll definitely be posting throughout the month about my raw food adventures, and how it changes things -- or doesn't!
Smelling We had a sleepover last night, and although The Husband woke me this morning to a huge bowl of fruit for breakfast in bed, the savory smells of bacon and eggs and sausage that the boys feasted on this morning is still wafting through the house. Also, syrup. Since no pancakes were eaten at this gluten free feast, I think my brain is just mourning my wafflepalooza lifestyle and inventing scents to tease me!
Wishing If only big moments had faster answers, decisions were easier, and children remained in their mother's arms for much longer. If only.
Hoping I'd like very much to know with 100% accuracy where I am headed, and if my chosen path is one I won't regret. Oh, and my big hope for June is that I devote every spare moment alone to one of a few things: writing actual stories, practicing meditation, and moving my sluggish body!
Wearing When I went to Boston last fall, I grabbed a cute Harvard t-shirt to wear to school on our college days. I've only worn it once since then, but for some reason grabbed it this morning. I'm such a quirky little "everything has meaning" person, and this June 1st feels big and important and like a fresh start -- so I thought maybe my smart people shirt would help me brave the new month with a new perspective. (I know, right? But yes, this is how my brain works.)
Loving Having all the boys here (well, minus a few, actually) last night was a dream -- so many memories from when Uno y Dos were still children came washing over me! And I'm loving the fact that I went on an overnight backpacking trip and am planning a much longer one that will be here before we know it. I love that my mom will be here in less than two weeks and that I'll spend the month laughing with her and writing through my days. And I love, so very much, the care and concern The Husband surrounds me with, and how he supported my raw food experiment by cleaning and chopping and mixing a giant bowl of fruit for me this morning. There is so much in my life to love, right now. Maybe it really is time to start that jar of gratitude...
Wanting It's time to be less lackadaisical about my writing. About revising. About querying. It's embarrassing how melancholy and yes, jealous (so very ashamed of that!) when I am surrounded by piles of new books in the library. Oh, how I love those books. And oh, how I hate that I haven't made a true effort to have one of my own out there in the world.
Needing When I was in my undergrad program, I sat down each week and write out my to-do list and a schedule (a very, very ridiculously detailed schedule). I don't know that I would have been as successful at completing that degree without my dedication to this routine. I believe it is time to bring back the lists! Bring back the schedule. I need to somehow wrangle this full and happy life into something less like a tornado.
Feeling I'm tired of the hip pain, the brain fog, the burning skin. I'm tired of being tired. Having the aches and pains of an octogenarian colors everything else in life in shades of grey. I'm ready to find my own answers. This is my one wild and precious life, and I don't want to let go of any of it, not even for one second.