Yet another medicine induced dream...

I'm in my Papa's boat, except it's not his boat, it's a yacht, it's a swimming pool in the ocean, it's a series of waterfalls and slides and showers and bathtubs, one melting into the next. I stay submersed in water, hoping to ignore what is going on inside the house. The house, oddly, is connected to the boat/ocean pool. There are stairs that go up to a balcony.

On the balcony, my father and my Papa (who passed away almost 5 years ago) stand and watch me. I can tell my father is annoyed that I won't come up. But I don't want him to see me.

A pathway trails alongside the boat. Mr. Lifsey, his girlfriend, and a gaggle of others walk down this path. I realize he has $1500 that my Papa has given him and attempt to scream for him to stop but I can't talk. If I talk, the water will fill my lungs, and that would be bad. So I watch as he and his friends walk off with not only a considerable amount of cash, but a considerable amount of liquor. Each person carries at least 3 or 4 large bottles down the road as they leave.

I go up to the house, finally, looking for a way around the balcony so my father won't detect my presence. At the same time, I look down to a beach and see a home in the sand and remember dreaming about this home before. A friend from high school lives there, but the windows are dark and I decide that he's not home now. In the last dream I know he was there. I wonder where he has gone and if he is okay.

In my Papa's house I walk past a dressing room. A woman is doing my grandmother's hair. She bats the woman's hands away and tells her to hurry. She needs to leave soon and doesn't have time for this. I'm irritated that my grandma wants to leave. I want her to stay and I can't understand why she has to leave. My mother watches as I walk by. She shakes her head. She's sad.

They yell for me, telling me it's time to go. I'm showering now, in this waterfall boat. There's a ladder that leads to the house but if I ascend it they'll see me and I'm not wearing anything.

I enter my Papa's study. I'm wet and fully dressed. Water puddles at my feet. This is a vast library with ladders that reach to the ceiling. Dusty, gilded books line the shelves. Old games and toys are scattered on the dark, tiled floor. My Papa is enormous in stature and wears dark blue bib overalls. I look at him and wonder why he is dressed like this -- he never would have dressed like this before. I want to tell him that even in a dream he shouldn't dress this way. I rush to him and give him a firm hug, not wanting to let go. My father comes in and I immediately back away. I notice Papa is getting rid of books. There are piles of children's literature everywhere. I ask if I could have them for my school. He laughs and asks why my school doesn't have its own books.

I slip through the tunnels in the boat and come up for air. They see me. The water begins to drain away, down a ramp that leads to a lower pool.

It does, I explain, but we always need more. He tells me I better start praying about my school if I don't even have a good library.

I watch again as Mr. Lifsey walks by laughing at the money and alcohol he is taking from my Papa's house.

I'm in a hallway in the house. There are windows all around me. Outside, the sky is cobalt blue. Stripes of pink clouds cut through the darkness. I'm wearing a bathing suit and have a towel wrapped around me. It's cold, and my hair is long, curly, and wet. The skin on my back burns where my hair touches my flesh. I want to go back to my watery cave, where I can hide. I want to be warm.

My grandma bats away a woman's hands and yells for her to go away.

Elvis stands next to me, alone in the cluttered library. He is silent, but heat radiates from him and I want to be close to him. I've been out in the cold for too long.

I look out to the house on the beach again and wonder when anyone will come home.

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