4.14.2002

Ever been cognizant of your own demise? I'm losing (or have already lost) my mind.
I speak backwards, swapping the beginning blend consonants of one word for the ending of another. Or exchanging the right word for the wrong, the correct sentence for a nonsensical one that forms and tumbles out of my mouth without any reason at all.
I put things where they do not belong. I found Daisy's pill bottle not on the counter but in her dog food bag. I put the cereal in the fridge and the milk in the cupboard. My sunglasses were lost for a week behind my bed, and I've lost more of the boys school papers in the past month than I care to recount.
I forget to take my medicine, my vitamins, and most meals. Dinner, you say? So sorry, I was too busy staring into space. No time for eating.
I try to jump into gear when my car isn't on. I lost most of the CD's I keep in the car. And in closing, my car is so disgustingly full of junk I don't even want to get inside it.
I'm not sure what all this signals, but I'm sure it isn't good.

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