My sister will do anything to assure the ability to drink Jack Daniels. This includes mixing it with Root Beer when the Coke is all gone.
It is not always warm in Florida. I froze my butt off last night, and definitely will not be wearing the sarong and tank top to the party tonight.
Double yellow nape parrots are pretty darn cool. Someone should buy me one.
My grandmother is the sweetest lady alive. Something about her repetitive, "Did you take the cough medicine?" or her constant requests to make me some tea make me feel like my throat may be repaired at some point before I leave. Either that, or I'm going to end up with pneumonia or bronchitis and die a slow, sad death. But at least my grandmother will still be asking if I need medicine.
Drinks that come in large fish bowls are better left unordered. Especially if you haven't eaten all day.
Santa Claus now requires down payments on large gifts.
My dad still walks like a troll. The entire free world can probably hear him stomping about. Kids, if you hear a noise late at night that sounds like the drumming of a thousand monsters on their way to eat you, don't worry, it's just my dad walking through the kitchen.