If you are not under 10 years old, you're not getting a gift.

I need cards that say that. All the teachers in my school brought gifts, gave out candies, exchanged teas and cookies and collectibles. I made gifts for all the students. It never occurred to me that I should be buying gifts for the grown ups, too.

Go figure.

Also: There is no gift for Stormy, nothing for Crystal (unless you count the birthday present I still haven't sent out). If I knew what to send Shaun the angels would come forth and sing praises, and although I know what I want to send Trever, there is neither the time nor the money to really do so. Same goes for Griffin and Ben. I haven't bought one thing for my sister or my Mom. I thought of sending a little something to Danie and Sarah, but it's just not in the cards. I'm going to be spending at least the very last part of Christmas day with my Grandmother and my dad, and nope, they aren't getting anything either.

Sorry, guys.

I would love to give out books to everyone. Books that I feel touch on a part of our relationship or remind me of some special something or other ... books. I think those would make lovely gifts. But I'm not convinced they would be received as well. And I know of at least one person that would use the book as a coffee coaster.

Not exactly what I had in mind.

I'll spend this weekend using the last of every available financial resource I have to make sure my children have a fabulous Christmas. I've never been that concerned with how much they get, but this year I want to be certain they are happy with the things I give them. This has been a roller coaster year and they have been amazing. I couldn't make it without them.

Once again, thank God for little graces.

Tonight is the Christmas party with Mom, and hopefully I will think of something to wear before we are supposed to leave. And hopefully they will serve a lot of alcohol there. And hopefully I can dance, a little. Because I was supposed to go see Tiffany tonight, but they canceled. Damn it all.

So, what do I really want (need) for Christmas? How kind of you to ask.
Slippers. Big, fluffy blue ones. I saw them at Target. I fell in love.
Robe. Not your ordinary robe. Ankle-length. Chenille or that really thick, plush terrycloth.
Toaster. Seriously. I make waffles almost everyday, and my toaster is dying.

Wow. I get easier to please with each passing day.

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