Tomorrow is my first day back to work. Whole new year, whole new job, same old place. I'm not really concerned, in spite of the fact that I'm doing two jobs at one time, and the planning that goes along with it seems to have tripled. But it will be nice to get back. I need schedules, I've found. They make me happy.

It's nice to find things, bit by bit, that make me happy.

On the flip side, I really need to say ... To all the single mom's out there--scratch that-- to all the parents raising kids on your own, I have the highest respect for you. I don't think I could do it. With R not around, and with my increase in hours ... the days are going to slip by too quickly. And the boys have only been back to school for one day. It was busy, exciting, and tiring. But I made it. Without too much frantic running about. We did everything we needed to do -- more than I ever used to do -- and by the time I kissed each sleeping boys forehead and headed for the bathtub for a much needed and very enjoyed bubble bath, I felt very ... fulfilled.

But there are still parts missing. In the night it is quiet and I am very aware of how maleless this house is. But when I lie down to sleep, I sleep. There is no tossing and turning and wondering and worrying. I lie down and sleep.

Just like that.

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