6.18.2003

I have a secret hope.

It is a seedling of a dream that has been forming for just a small amount of time ... since February, perhaps. It is the thing that propelled me back to school, the reason I finally have peace with where I am and why I am here.

It keeps me calm at night.

It is a transformation of earlier aspirations, and only one other person in the whole world knows what it is. See, I change my mind a lot. I know this. People know this. T-bird calls me wishy-washy to differentiate me from other people. Seestah groans at my constantly changing agendas. Momster simply cannot keep up with my many passions, beliefs, hopes and interests. So I keep this one to myself. I've never been so happy to have a hidden direction before.

This time I know it is right.

I feel like I've entered a time in my life where I am truly comfortable in my own skin. I can look down at my bare feet and appreciate where they have been and look forward to where they are going. I know I am here for a reason, I know I have a purpose and that what I do and what I will be doing years from now will effect people in a positive way. I am making good decisions, I am speaking up, and I am taking care of me without neglecting others, and taking care of others without forgetting myself.

Lessons learned, though sometimes unbelievably painful, are the best gift we could ever hope for.

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