Friday night found me angry and bitter, which isn't exactly a new thing, but it led me over to Shannon & Bill's place, in hopes of getting away from it all.

I'm really not sure what "it all" is, but after sitting on the couch and watching Keith pace around ready to kick someone's rather unfortunate hiney, and listening to Bill talk to the police as he watched some lunatic jumping onto balconies, I felt like I hadn't escaped it all but simply found more of it.

Saturday started at 8am, as I jumped out of Shan's bed and raced home. Okay, I hit the earlybird sale at Kohl's first, but I did go home. Crystal called to say she was running (seriously) late, and Matt showed up just as I began undressing (nice timing), but then left when Keith arrived. I carried on a rather interesting phone conversation while showering (a first), and Keith and Matt returned just as I was getting dressed (what is with these guys?). Shannon and Bill purchased all of our tickets to Scarborough Faire, I decided not to wear the 3" heeled sandals, even though they are damn cute, and at approximately 11:30, we rolled out of the driveway, all in my 4Runner, headed for the Faire.

Along the way we learned that Cool Ranch Doritos are much better than Pringles, Shannon has to potty much more now that she's pregnant, and Keith enjoys having women punch him in the chest. We also observed that Matt is incredibly vile, and Shannon and I were told that pretty much the only thing it takes for a woman to be...erm... sexually attractive is enthusiasm. Hm.

Crystal called again and she and Jim still had not left Oklahoma, but we managed to figure out a way to meet up once everyone got settled in the grand ole town of Waxahachie.

So at the Faire there were many breasts on display, and I may never recover. We ate mucho mas food, sampled some salty nuts, and I rejected beer in favor of water. Although it was a difficult task, I was rewarded later when I realized how incredibly irrational Matt and Keith became after their 54th trip to the pub.

Shannon and I let strangers decorate our cute little bodies with henna art, and then complained for the rest of the day whenever anyone touched our henna.

Just as the two of us were about to jump onto an elephant and ride off into the sunset, Crystal called and announced her arrival.

So instead we ate pastries and met up with her. Then Crystal, Shannon, and I hopped onto an elephant and waved as several onlookers admired our courage. Mostly, they laughed and took pictures, but a little embelishment never hurt anyone.

And there was much more food, and walking, and food, and walking, and men with oddly large codpieces and still Crystal thinks I should go to simucon but obviously she is deranged, and we watched a show with swordsmen and a drunk woman in orange asked how many poppies were in our pockets.

That was when we figured it was about time to go home. Crystal and Jim and I all exchanged hugs, I grabbed my inflatible monkey, and we were off!

Along the way, Matt bought a very large and rather scary sword, and Keith bought Sting, and proceeded to wave it around and nearly slice off my head. We then were told for quite a long time about the horrors of all the bands on the DareDevil soundtrack, regardless of how great the songs are. Okay.

Interestingly enough, Shannon and I learned of Keith's great odor phobia, and were forced to explain to the man that no, he really did not stink. The trip home then became a scary rendition of all those family vacations where the siblings fight in the backseat all the way there. So we traded yelling matches, punches, pokes, pinches, dirty looks, insults, and rude hand gestures. It was certainly an enlightening time.

God, thank you for sending me just Shannon, and no brothers, for certainly we would have killed him.

Once home, the drunkards tried to convince us to go to a party, but instead Shannon, Bill and I went out to eat (actually, they ate, I argued with the waitress) and caught a movie. They quickly ran home upon the movie's finish, and I went to bed, was snugly tucked in, and fell into a very peaceful sleep.

Today, I am sunburned and tired, but ultimately happy. Tomorrow, well, lets just try not to think about that.

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