project.chameleon

We've known each other for a long time now, right? I believe it's time for you to know exactly how my mind works. It's a very, very sad thing.

I'm about to leave on a 6 day trip (not a 3 hour cruise, because people rarely come back from those). I have not yet packed, because the thought of packing is overwhelming to me. I'm not sure what to bring. I'm not sure how the weather will be. I'm not sure if I need clothes for going out, and if I do, how many extra pairs of shoes shall I take?

So this is what I do. I make a list. I write down the name of each day of the week I will be there. I plan an outfit for each day. Including shoes. I then select two alternative outfits. One for unsuspected weather, one for a surprise formal occasion (because you just never know - more than once I've had to attend a funeral while on vacation; people drop like flies when I'm around).

When my list is complete, I can then begin to pack. I pack by my list. Each outfit goes in together, so I can be sure I don't forget a single piece.

This is how I pack.

I don't know when it began, or why. I just know it's an insane process. The world isn't going to end if I don't have my blue cardigan with me. It won't end if I forget the matching necklace. But these things concern me.

I like everything to be in order.

I don't know why, but it is these little things which always find a way to trip me up. I am completely capable of defeating monstrous obstacles, but ask me to pack, to decide what to eat for dinner on a special occasion, how to organize files, and I become a wreck.

It's the little things. They trip me up. They lie around in a cluttered mess waiting to be sifted through, but I can't see down. I can't look at them, and I stumble upon them in the dark, like a child who has forgotten she left her dolly on the floor.

So yes, I'm going to pack now. I can, you see, because I have my list.