Okay, so here's the deal.
I must talk to R. or I am going to either spontaneously combust or implode. Is that the same thing? I don't know.
What I do know is that my anger/fear at/of him is making me just plain angry all the time. And it's effecting how I act with my kids and it's effecting my ability to do anything at all.
I feel tired, angry, jumpy, anxious, scatterbrained, angry, sad, lost, did I mention angry??, and just a lot of nasty little feelings. It's tiring. Yeah, I mentioned that already too.
Thing is, I don't know what to say to him. It doesn't matter. His ears somehow are not connected to his brain. Does there come a time where you just have to forget about talking and just stomp all over someone with no care? Ugh, it makes me ill. I can't be so ruthless.